He's eating.
lt's here.
lt's free, come in and eat as much as you can.
Not free! What do you mean...
Action!
The hottest issue in town is
''Averse to food'' infecting everyone,
but it's been cured by a so called ''Pissing Beef Balls''.
lt's been selling hot within a short time.
The inventor of this ''Pissing Beef Balls''
is the man of legend...
Stephen Chow,
the former ''God of Cookery''.
Stephen Chow,
why are your ''Pissing Beef Balls'' so popular?
l think... it's unfair to ask me this way.
You'd better ask the customers why they rush to eat it.
Little boy, why do you like eating ''Pissing Beef Balls''?
Since eating ''Pissing Beef Balls'', l find myself much cleverer,
I've got full marks in each examination.
Really so helpful?
I've become prettier and prettier after eating it...
I've grown taller and stronger since eating it.
I've got back my confidence.
Are you going to get back your fame since you made a success here?
Get back my fame?
Could you tell us the secret of success of your ''Pissing Beef Balls''?
lt's simple, delicious, new and fun.
Fun? How so?
You're playing Ping-Pong with it?
This stuff deserves trying.
lt's tasty and creative, l can't help buying one for myself.
How can...
he be successful with such trivial stuff?
Don't worry, it's just trivial stuff.
He can't make real success with them.
l just fear he'll come back for us after he's made fame.
Everyone in HK knows
beef balls that can play Ping-Pong.
Will l really piss after eating?
You'll surely have diarrhea after eating it...
lsn't it miracle?
Amazing!
lt's a miracle, though you've had such a good start,
But it's a bit risky to pledge all your assets,
l find it risky to open 20 branches at the same time.
You find it risky?
What if we first open 2 branches?
Mr. Chow, since you've made a first success,
you needn't bet all your money in the next step.
Don't bullshit! You know nothing about it!
l don't need you teach me running business.
Mr. Chow, but with your past record...
it's hard for our bank
to lend you a lump sum.
l guess you have no confidence in our beef balls.
ln fact, I've never tried them.
l seldom eat this kind of snack.
Try some.
Try some!
You really lend him the money?
Thank you!
I'm just doing what you asked me to do.
l know what he has in mind,
he wants to open branches.
All his branches will be
in remote places.
He has one in urban area, but a basement branch.
Hey, do you know feng shui?
You know this word?
Death!
See, he'll destory himself!
Lend whatever he wants, let him dig his own grave!
What? Repeat yourself!
They've made use of the money to manufacture cans.
Manufacture cans?
Right.
They'll be sold in all 2,800 supermarkets and convenient stores.
I've input all the shops location into the computer.
Sure win!
l really would've never guessed.
Of course, l will surely win!
Excuse me...
Excuse me...please...
Stephen Chow...How do you feel..
about being elected in the Genius of Food and Beverage?
l find it's like a dream...
it also proves HK is a place for miracles
As long as you work hard, all dreams will come true.
Ass-Hole!
Where've you been? You haven't contact me for a long time.
l thought you were dead.
l was dead! But you will never believe it!
Why must l believe it?
You never expected me reborn again?
I'm convinced!
l nearly forget to congratulate you!
Our shops always get rewards,
but it's rare for your lousy friends to get such a reward.
What the fuck did you say?
lt's a wonderful world, you won't believe it!
Why must l believe it?
lf l hadn't got this award,
l wouldn't be eligible for Competition of ''God of Cookery'' next month.
I'm really convinced for this.
Smart guy!
l don't mean to show others I'm capable.
l just want to tell others that
l can get back what l have lost.
Let me say the truth,
Mr. Chow, you're really capable
but you must try to learn some practical cooking.
Chinese Cookery Academy.
I'm apply for it tomorrow morning.
Good! I'm glad to hear that.
Honestly, l don't care how wicked,
or sly you were in the past,
as long as you improve yourself, we'll surely give you another chance,
Please don't beat me...
I'm always an honest man, I'm real genuine
l really wish you well.
My only mistake in my life is underestimating you...
Oh...Mr. Chow...
Look at him...
how naive and lovely he is!
Very vivid too!
So smart at pissing and taking a shit...
l didn't know you were so talented at eating shit!
Stop fighting..
Don't move!...
l must kill this bastard! l want him to die!
OK! Let's kill him!
Calm down!
lt's fixed, it's all over.
What do you mean ''fixed''?
lt's not over! let me go and find him!
Stop wasting your time!
You know nothing but fighting, did l ask you to fight?
You're supposed to follow my lead! lt's not Temple Street here.
Stop acting like you know shit!
What are you looking at? Want to beat me up too?
Forget her!
Brothers...
We've been staying in Temple Street for 20 years.
Now we're going to set into big business and go outside.
Wish our ''Pissing Beef Balls'' succeed more!
Cheers! Cheers!
Let me congratulate you on... studying cooking in China tomorrow,
...so that you can get back your title of ''God of Cookery''.
None of your business!
l was only joking.
Everybody, it's our last night on this street.
Look carefully,
we'll rush out of Temple Street tomorrow and challenge the world!
Sister Turkey says she won't leave.
What is she thinking?
Sister Turkey said she will not leave her homeland.
Good! She's got to be a good wife.
l know you were "checking" her out for a long time.
That's sick, you bastard!
Sister Turkey was real pretty before.
So you're the one who wants to "make out" with her.
Turkey was very pretty 3 years ago,
but she had her face spoiled in a quarrel.
Why did she have a quarrel?
No one ever told me, l just don't know.
l know what happened. l was the only witness.
Uncle Kwan's men came to have supper that night at her shop.
He tore apart Turkey's ''flag''.
Tore apart her ''flag''?
Who tore my ''flag''?
You ass-hole tore my flag to clean your running nose?
Fuck you! We have napkins here!
Did you even fucking ask me?
What the fuck you say?
l like to use this to clean my nose.
Go fuck yourself!
You know who l am? Dare you talk to me like this?
Fuck her flag, let's trash this place!
Got it, boss!
Dare you fight back?
The chop he gave her was from her forehead to nostrils
Right there, right at the entrance of her stall,
he stabbed into her spine...
...and that injured her nerve system,
even her teeth protruded outwards!
She has to endure her face all her life now.
That ''flag'' really harmed her.
What ''flag''?
lt's your ''flag''.
My ''flag''?
The ''flag'' of ''God of Cookery''.
Your posters are really everywhere.
Especially the one you're holding a small kid.
She says you're full of paternal love.
She's your number one crazy fan.
''God of Cookery''!
l must congratulate you then.
"Fat Snow!" What are you talking about, Fat Snow?!!
l said, "What are you talking about!!" l told you not to tell anyone!
ln fact, she told me to tell you when there was such a chance.
But since you've told him already, it's nothing to be shameful of.
Ahh, it's so frustrating!
By the way, aren't you travelling to China alone tomorrow?
No one accompanies you? Let me go with you then.
Taxi!
Where are you?
Where? I'm in China.
You needn't rush away,
Turkey is so kind to you.
Don't talk about nonsense, l can't find Chinese Cookery Academy right now.
No way, I've asked people about it.
Right...There's everything here, toilets, temples...
...but just no Chinese Cookery Academy!
No way,
Maddy's sister's mother's brother's son says there is.
Why don't you come back first?
Come back? Don't you know l am escaping?
Don't worry, Turkey is not here right now.
She's disappeared since you went away.
Where did she go?
l catch you at last!
Good! Catch you now!
You let me catch you at last...
What happens? Now what?
I've bought you much daily sundries.
You left so fast, l couldn't give them to you last time,
so l came all the way for you.
Don't waste all these stuff.
Thanks.
Hey, please do me a favour.
Draw a heart here, with an arrow passing through it.
Stop fooling around.
Just a souvenir, come on.
Turkey, we're good buddies, but let me tell you.
l feel sorry as this happened to you.
l am really touched..
But l didn't want that, you understand?
Sure, of course l know.
Come on, draw it for me, come on.
Drawing a heart is simple, nothing special.
But we're good buddies, let's make things clear first.
I've come all the way here
just to ask you draw me a heart,
but you're losing your temper for that?
Even if you forget I've done so much for you,
you must remember how l covered for you and got injured.
l didn't ask you to do all this for me.
l didn't ask you to block the knife for me either.
What's that got to do with me?
According to your theory, if everyone block one or two..
then I'll be running into great trouble.
Many things are destined and planned by heavens.
lt's useless even if you are injured 20 more times,
Do you understand?
Hey, do you understand?
OK.
How come?
What?
lt's rare astronomy phenomena: Nine stars joining into one.
When this happens, there is always something strange happening.
Don't worry, he'll disappear forever.
The 28th Competition of ''God of Cookery''
is starting after one minute.
Let's have the honour of our judge...
Chairperson of international Gourmet Society, the 'Princess of Taste'...
Miss Nancy Sit
Half minute to start.
According to the rules,
all late comers will be disqualified.
No excuse is allowed.
All participants, please get into your position.
I've checked, no one is coming,
the match will start soon.
Stupid bastard, you fucking scared me!
lsn't he...
Madam, please go faster.
This is the fastest l can.
Then l have no choice...
Just arrived on time.
You?
Amida Buddha.
l ask: Who are you?
Dean of Shaolin Monastery, my name is ''Wet Dream''.
Amida Buddha.
l come and leave with the wind.
Hey, I'm a good friend of Stephen Chow, please respect me.
l beg you...please.
Security, throw this "useless dream" guy out of here.
And close the gate and doors!
and prevent anyone with "wet dreams" from coming in.
OK, the last participant has arrived.
The match starts now!
l won't act until my enemies act first.
l would like to know, why Stephen Chow looks like this.
Why is he dress in ancient clothing? Why did all his hair become white?
ls there a wire
so that he can fly over water?
He's now an understudy of Shaolin Monastery.
Shaolin Monastery.
Amida Buddha.
l can only tell you, He's linked with Buddha.
Based on sympathy, l took him in as an understudy.
Don't move!
You have wounded by a poisonous branch.
Luckily the poison hasn't arrived your brain.
otherwise you'd die at once.
I've sucked out 80% of the poison already.
Let me suck the remaining,
please.
Get the fuck away!
lf you won't let me suck, l won't force you
You'll be in trouble, Dean is very narrow-mined.
l hate people talking about me behind my back.
Out!
Disqualified!
I'm disqualified?!
We're choosing ''God of Cookery'', not a clown in a circus.
Besides being a master in cooking,
presentation is also important.
You want to be ''God of Cookery''?...
lt won't be that easy!!!!
Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery?
Right! Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!
You've enraged the Dean, you want to escape? No way!
Out!
Why?
Look at you, has your father just died?
Go home and face the mirror, disqualified!
What are you looking at?
Out!
Why?
Being ''God of Cookery'', one must have concentration.
All of you keep standing here
when l am barely moving, useless shitheads!
You make me so disappointed, out!
lf you keep disqualifying everyone, there'll be no one left.
l know what I'm doing.
Since the beginning of the match,
only two people are fit to compete.
They are the only two qualified participants.
Why did you kill people?
You taught me that.
Because l like to.
Reform and believe in Buddha.
Well, I'm making the dish ''Buddha Jumping WalI''.
What a coincidence! I'm making ''Buddha Jumping WalI'' too.
Don't waste your time.
Just because you're wearing a Halloween costume, doesn't mean you're going to win!
l can do that too! Want to become ''God of Cookery''? Not 'til you're dead!
Super-style cutting!
Supreme-style chopping!
Good Chopping skills.
So fast!
Eighteen-style frying!
Dog-beating sauteeing!
Good frying!
Objection! He is copying me!
Did he?
He does exactly what I'm doing!
ls he really?
Look! You see now?
But this is a competition.
lt's like racing and swimming,
everyone is doing the same thing.
There's nothing to object.
Overruled!
Thanks!
Motherfucker!
Let's see how you're going to catch this one!
Uncle...
Nothing serious... it's only the back of the chopper...
The back of the chopper? Pshh..
You've really attended Chinese Cookery Academy?
Don't pretend!
Chinese Cookery Academy is indeed the kitchen of Shaolin Monastery.
You're also a dropout of Shaolin Monastery!
lmpossible!
l have studied for ten years,
but you have studied for only one month, you can't be so good!
That depends on talent.
Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!
Damned fools!
OK, the small ''Ten''.
One ''Ten'', right? Pass.
Pass? l know you will pass me.
''Queen'' ''Queen''?
Man, when can l leave this place?
''Two'', only after the Dean says OK.
When will Dean say that, man?
Look...
That old man enraged Dean when he was 13,
so he's been detained here till now.
What does that mean?
You pass ''Five of a Kind''? Pass.
What does that mean? You lost double this time.
Fuck this! This is complete bullshit!
Eighteen Brassmen of Shaolin Monastery!
Besides learning the cooking skills in the kitchen of Shaolin Monastery,
l also learnt supreme Kung Fu from the eighteen Brassmen.
These brassed knuckleheads are really something.
l don't believe it!
Good ''Flying Skills''!
The secret of ''Flying Skills''
it can make a man as heavy as a seal...
fly up high in the sky, and make ghosts cry.
Good folding chair!
The secret of ''Folding Chair''
it's hidden in common household.
We can sit on them and turn them into weapons.
Even the police can't charge you.
lt's ranked top in the seven weapons.
Just beat him two more times, only 3 minutes left, watch out for time.
Shut up!
Bad omen.
Bad? How bad?
We do not allow ''Buddha Jumping WalI'' to explode.
You should have been disqualified.
...but l consider that you are quite creative.
Two minutes left, make another one.
Only two minutes, you can only make sasumi,
give up punk!
Good ''lnternal Skills''!
He uses ''lnternal Skills'' to raise the temperature.
So the ''Buddha Jumping WalI'', which originally takes 49 hours to cook,
...can now be made in 2 minutes.
May l ask what is the most tasty thing you've even eaten in your life?
You should ask this question to yourself.
Ask myself?
Right.
Who are you talking to?
This is supersonic chatting.
This is...
''Kouyum SkilI''? Wrong!
This is ''Sorrowful Hand''.
''Sorrowful Hand''?
This is a style created by him.
One day, l saw him...
...singing sorrowfully.
Righteous and honesty is valuable.
l dare to go to fight.
I'm willing to sacrifice for buddies.
I'm willing to die for girls...
His hair turned white overnight.
His love is so deep.
What is love? Why is forever?
Finding he is addicting to love, l forgave him.
l never know you're such a romantic man.
Lost skill of Shaolin Monastery: ''Fire Fist''!
Time's up! The match is over!
lt smells good!
Oh yea..
This is called..
Super Seaview ''Buddha Jumping WalI''!
Good! Good! Good!...
This ''Buddha Jumping WalI'', prepared by ''lnternal Skills''...
is so well prepared, not thick nor thin, and not so unctuous.
The nine ingredients make up a total of 81 varieties.
The flavours stack up one layer by one layer.
lt deserves to be called: ''Super Seaview Buddha Jumping WalI''!
And this is...
''Sorrowful Rice''.
What's wrong with you? This is just ordinary BBQ Pork Rice.
With just one extra egg on it,
costs only $22 at most.
Why you call it ''Sorrwful Rice''?
Stop acting cool, punk!
Nonsense! l dare say...
no one dare say ''acting cooI'' in front of me.
Will you please keep quiet!
BBQ Pork, awesome BBQ Pork!
I've never eaten such good BBQ Pork!
Someone help me!!!
The gravy is kept inside the meat fibre.
lt's so tender and juicy.
They're so soft and bouncy to eat.
With the extra egg made by ''Fire Fist'',
the taste of BBQ Pork is unbelievable.
Why? Why? Why?...
Why do you let me eat such good bowl of BBQ Pork Rice?
What shall l do if you don't cook it for me in future?
What is that?
Why tears burst out from my eyes?
l have a sorrowful feeling.
lt's onion, I've added onion inside.
Oh! lt is just too touching, it hits the spot!
So that's onion!
This bowl of rice is really touching.
No wonder lt's called ''Sorrowful Rice''.
lt's really so sorrowful!
lt's so heavenly!
Wonderful!
Unfortunately...
lf my husband was not so naive and such a gambler
and caught in a trap...
lf l were not greedy and caught while l was cheating.
The worst is...
Greet the Boss. Boss.
Even my good son left school and joined the Triad now.
These scumbags are bribing me, l have no choice but..
Tonight, the ''God of Cookery'' is...
Bull Tong!
Bull Tong is finally ''God of Cookery''!
You've wasted your breath, you still have to choose me.
There's no ''God of Cookery''.
What? What did you say?
Maybe everyone is ''God of Cookery'' What do you mean?
Don't bullshit, present the prize.
Even parents, brothers, sisters and lovers, as long as they have heart
What do you mean?
Everyone can become ''God of Cookery''.
He became crazy cause he lost, call for ambulance.
''God of Cookery'', yield!.
''God of Cookery'', you used to be fairy in mastering cooking skills,
but you committed heavens rules,
so you were punished to descend to Earth.
Today, you finally know the essence of cooking.
You've shown your love in the rice you cooked.
Even King of Heavens are impressed.
But you revealed Heavens secret, you should be punished.
l spare you now as you did that out of deep love.
Stephen, you've invested a lot!
You even hired a fake fairy!
Good! I'll see what you can do with fairy.
Ask the fairy to help you...
You black mouth dog, you don't keep guard at the door.
lt's time for you to return to your true form.
You want to try too?
No!...none of my business, I'm only passing by!
l know no one in here.
Especially the guys who were shooting!
Bullshit! You're worse than a dog!
Uncle really becomes a dog!
Ridiculous! Nothing happen to me!
This is only an illusion!
You can't scare me!
Everything is possible, is it Christmas now?
Sir, you're born with fairy bones, your eyes show holy light.
You're a fairy descended on Earth, I've found you at last!
How come there are so many fairies?
Yes!
Fairies are everywhere in the street.
Even Santa Claus is a fairy.
The more you talk, the more ridiculous it is
Wait, l can tell you about your marriage,
show me your palm.
Your marriage is soon coming, soon...
ls it really true? No way?
lt's true, she told us not to watch the match.
Because she was concerned you would lost concentration.
That's right!
No way!
Really, she blocked the bullet with her gold teeth.
She survives, doctor gives her new teeth,
and even plastic surgery, she's become pretty now.
No way!
lt's true!
Look, here she comes.
What do you think?
Even if you don't like what you see, at least say something.
At this point, lt's useless to say anything more.
I'll return this to you!